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Loneliness, Belonging & the Hunt for Admiration

We are tribal creatures. For thousands of years, human beings have depended upon living in groups in order to survive. When we exist successfully with other people, we gain a deep sense of belonging that is fundamental to human wellbeing. When we gain true acceptance, we don’t have to compulsively seek attention. We can just be. This kind of belonging …

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Objectification: Monster in the Shadows

Current events in our culture or family lives can lead many of us to raise our hands in despair, and ask: “Why do (other!) people never learn?” Things can seem so bad, on so many fronts that we can feel overwhelmed and powerless. This article is intended to highlight a connection between prevailing problems we encounter in apparently unrelated areas …

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The Narcissist Survivors' Club

This is the phrase I sometimes have in my mind when I think about my practice, and about therapy in general. It doesn’t describe everyone who comes to therapy, but both the incidence and the suffering involved are considerable. It is deeply instructive to me that so many people facing struggles in life have suffered at the hands of narcissistic …

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How Does Therapy Work? Eco-Systems of Mental Health

As a psychotherapist I am often asked the question, “How does therapy work?” There is no quick and easy answer to this question. Every modality of therapy is different and each therapist works differently within these modalities. Even my own approach will be different from client to client depending on the individual needs and personality of each person I see. …

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Anxiety and Momentum

We live in a world of quick “fixes”.  Unfortunately, when it comes to dealing with who you are in the world, real change is usually quite gradual.  That is not to say that we don’t have epiphanies, realizations, surprising moments in the process of change: the clock ticks after all, but movement (when we notice real difference in the hour …

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Demystifying Therapy

A few months ago, Toronto psychotherapists had a booth at a large trade show in Toronto; thousands of people attend this particular venue. What I found, and this has astonished me ever since we exhibited, is that many people have very black and white ideas about therapy. There were people who saw our banner, and reacted with “I’m not crazy, …

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The Expectation of Help

Everyone experiences difficulties in life. Why is it that some people have no trouble asking for help to overcome these difficulties while others in the same situations would seemingly rather do anything than ask for help? Through my work as a psychotherapist, I have come to realize that asking for help feels very different for each person and is coloured …